Who’d Make the Best Fighting-Game Drinking Buddies?
Sep 1, 2010 Celebrity
Drinking buddies. Wing men. Boozin’ brothers. We’ve all got them — those guys whose entire friendship is entirely based on a shared passion for the pub.
We at Asylum have given plenty of thought to drinking buddies in the past, taking the time to consider who’d make the best animal and the pro-wrestling drinking buddies. The next logical step, of course, was to compile a list of the ultimate fighting-game drinking buddies.
Game: “Street Fighter II Turbo”
Character: Zangief
Role in the group: The lovable Russian
Drink of choice: Vodka neat
“Street Fighter” is full of awesome characters. Everymen Ken, Guile and Ryu are a bit dull; Blanka is liable to electrocute you; and the less said about M. Bison and Dhalsim the better. In our eyes, we’d choose between Chun-Li, E. Honda and Zangief. Well, Chun-Li isn’t old enough to get into a pub and E. Honda is just too fat to sit on a bar stool. We had to go for the massive Russian.
Keep reading for six more characters we’d like to do shots with. …
Game: “Tekken”
Character: King
Role in the group: The one with the animal head
Drink of choice: Rum and Diet Coke
Geeks among you will point out that King is in fact dead, and therefore won’t reply to our Facebook invite to join us down at the bar. Well, this is all hypothetical, so just let us fantasize about drinking with an orphaned Mexican street fighter who becomes a monk and fights to get the cash to build an orphanage.
Game: “Killer Instinct”
Character: Chief Thunder
Role in the group: The wise one
Drink of choice: A Corona with lime?
We’ve never met a Native American chief before, let alone a Native American chief who’s fought in the “Killer Instinct” tournament, let alone a Native American chief who’s fought in the “Killer Instinct” tournament and can do a reverse triplax. This was an easy decision. The thing is, would he want us to call him “Chief Thunder” all the time, or would just “Chief” be okay?
Game: “Super Smash Bros.”
Character: Fox McCloud
Role in the group: The one with military service
Drink of choice: Erdinger, for some reason
Fox McCloud is one of every young boy’s childhood heroes, and thankfully his appearance in the fantastic “Super Smash Bros” made him eligible for our next bender. A consummate professional, Fox would make a great drinking buddy, telling his tales of intergalactic warfare.
Game: “Mortal Kombat”
Character: Sonya Blade
Role in the group: The female friend
Drink of choice: Scotch on the rocks
Up to now our table is surrounded by an anthropomorphic fox, a Native American chief, a man with a leopard head and a massive Russian in a Speedo. Suffice it to say, we could use a woman’s touch. That’s where Sonya comes in. The original fighting-game hottie, Sonya is a special-forces agent who we reckon would be delightful company.
Game: “Star Wars: Masters of Teras Karsi”
Character: Chewbacca
Role in the group: The hairy one
Drink of choice: Chewie is a beer guy, surely
OK, so “Masters of Teras Karsi” isn’t exactly a classic. In fact, it was a much-maligned part of Lucasfilm’s continuing merchandise onslaught, but that doesn’t matter. It was a fighting game and Chewie was in it, so he’s here in the pub with us.
Game: “Double Dragon V: The Shadow Fall”
Character: Billy Lee
Role in the group: The normal(ish) guy
Drink of choice: Lager
We’re talking about the cult-classic fighting game on the SNES. Billy seems like an average kind of guy, and every group of buddies needs a level-headed one.
Who did we leave off our list? Let us know in the comments.
Sock-Sorting Robot Is Finally a Reality
Sep 1, 2010 Celebrity
It looks like our constant paranoia about the impending robot uprising may have been a little premature — they’ve just worked out how to sort socks.
A team from the University of California, Berkeley, say it’s been able to program a high-tech “PR2″ robot to match a pair of socks, turn them the right way and bundle them into pairs.
Currently the bot, which we will call the Sockinator, takes around 15 minutes to pick up two socks from a table, identify they are a match, and bunch them together.
Check out a video of the sock-pairing robot in action … …
35 Ingenious Life Hacks
Sep 1, 2010 Celebrity
From chilling a hot beer in three minutes to accessing free hotel porn, here are 35 killer life hacks you might actually use.
Via: buzzfeed
Biden To Cool His Heels In Mexico For A While
Sep 1, 2010 Celebrity
JUREZ, MEXICO”I need to steer clear of D.C. until some shit blows over,” said Biden, sitting in the far corner of a Mexican cantina with his back to the wall and taking a long swig from a bottle of Tecate Light.
Tony Dungy On Meeting With Rex Ryan: ‘That Fucking Cocksucker Is A Good Shit’
Aug 30, 2010 Celebrity
NEW YORKAfter briefly speaking with Jets coach Rex Ryan about his excessive use of expletives during the HBO show Hard Knocks, NBC football analyst Tony Dungy admitted Monday that “the fat cocksucker is real fucking good shit.” “We w…
Best Of Craigslist: Gamers Seeking Gamers
Aug 30, 2010 Celebrity
Hard to beat this: “I need gold for my epic flying mount. In return, you can
mount me.” (Disclaimer: This chicks probably dont look like this.)
LINK: http://www.nerve.com
Bufalino camper could make your life easy
Aug 30, 2010 Celebrity
Have you ever thought of spending your life in a camper? If not you might love owning a Bufalino. Bufalino is an amazing work by German industrial designer Cornelius Comanns.
It is an awesome small camper which offers all the facilities a traveler could ask for. The product Bufalino camper could …Continue Reading on Walyou
64 Percent of Young Women Would Release a Sex Tape to Get Ahead
Aug 30, 2010 Celebrity
Our happy hour fact to amaze your drinking buddies with.
According to a survey of Generation Y users of the dating website Can Do Better, 64 percent of women would release a sex tape if it would help advance their careers.
The survey found that 45 percent of women also answered that they would sleep with their professor to pass a college class. (Meanwhile, a relatively paltry 42 percent of men would pull a “Kardashian.”) The amoral behavior wasn’t just reserved for sex acts: 36 percent of women replied they would blackmail a co-worker or a boss to get ahead.
Here’s where we have to be killjoys and remind you that even though those numbers are based on a large sample set of 2,800 people, we can only be sure they are representative of members of the dating site that conducted the survey.
So, for all you aspiring Ray J’s out there, Can Do Better may be the place for you to find a video-ready partner. …
Facebook May Ruin Your Next Job Interview (if You Sleep With GILFs)
Aug 30, 2010 Celebrity
Facebook has been known to destroy some reps and even get people fired and/or arrested. That’s why it’s so important to protect your privacy, especially if your idea of fun involves strange drinking rituals and casual sex with old women. A hilarious illustration of how Facebook can come back to bite you was recently created by the gentlemen from Wiseguy Pictures, and features Asylum’s good pal, Jonathan Gabrus. (NSFW) …